Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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