I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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