I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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