i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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