i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
