I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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