i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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