You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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