Its about making memories worth repressing
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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