i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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