So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
