I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
