we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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