I'd wear matching sweaters with you
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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