you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
