So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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