Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
