I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
