those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
