To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
