My brain says no but my pants say off.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You dont lie about slip and slides
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
i've created a new STD.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
