Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
