i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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