My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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