I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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