if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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