Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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