You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
