i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Randomize
