So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
