Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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