Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
