So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Randomize