but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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