My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
