i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
