gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
