and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
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