oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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