I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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