I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
