I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
