Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I yelled at your uterus for you.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize