She's JV to your varsity
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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