so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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