I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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