So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
