im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The air was thick with penises
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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