Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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