you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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