You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
her vagine was all disorganized.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
