We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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