You did not just play the dead husband card again.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We had sex on a dog bed..
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
