Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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