hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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