No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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