Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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