wat bout pragnant strippers??
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
