Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
