I feel great
I just peed on a car
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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