Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
